Friday, 1 August 2014

Unmoved Again

The following might not make much sense to some people.  Some reading between the lines may be required.

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Let us say that there is a guy who has an admirable desire to bring philosophy to the masses.  Rather than having philosophy locked up in "schools", he tends to think of philosophy as having "lines" and he decides sets up a "line philosophy" club.  Because he lives in Owen County, Indiana, he decides to call it the Owen Line Philosophy Club.

Let us say further that this marvellous person is not made of money, so he tends to staff his club with unpaid volunteers and one of these volunteers is a guy called WaftmanWaftman has a warden-like role, which he takes quite seriously, and he has taken to calling himself a "Verger".  As well as carrying out his important responsibilities, Waftman also likes to mix it with the club members.

Now, one day, Waftman approaches a group of Owen Line Philosophy Club members and makes an amazing claim.

He beams proudly and says, "I am God!"

"Goodness," the members exclaim, "pray, tell us more!"

"Here is my proof," says Waftman, "I was able to solve the paradox which asks, can God create a rock that he cannot lift? I solved this paradox by creating a rock that I could not lift.

"I did this during a visit to Athens.  No, not Athens in Greece, Athens in Georgia, formerly known as Athens-Clark County.  While in Athens I created a rock from Lego, and was able to lift and manipulate that rock.  However, when I returned to Owen County, Indiana, I was not able to lift the rock that I created during my visit to Athens, Georgia. Thus, the logical conclusion is that I am God, because I created a rock that I could not lift.  This solves an age old paradox, to which no equivalent solution has ever been found or provided."

"Oh my goodness," says one of the Owen Line Philosophy Club Members, "you are an insane, attention-seeking, logic-challenged tosser, Waftman.  Go away and stop bothering us with your inane waffle!"